WHEN AND WHERE I THINK THE MOST

one day of the week, for 9 hours i work in a greenhouse. i am finally, after a month, learning how much i appreciate my time there. it's hot, it's humid, i'm typically covered in dirt; it's under my nails and on my face and sometimes ends up in my hair. it's a lot of standing and at the end of the day, my knees ache. it's not glamorous but it's beneficial for me. outside of my two 30 min breaks i'm almost entirely not connected or tuned into what's going on with my phone and in the time i partake in the nearly mindless acts of repotting plants, harvesting baby plants, and making space for new things to grow, I think. i think about a lot of things. tasks I need to cross off my to do list. moments I've felt shame. potential creative pursuits. loss. fun weekend plans. interactions with people where I'm sad with how we left things. nothing is off the table when it comes to what i think about and i usually cant actively decide what will consume my thoughts that day. either way, im learning to love this time despite the physical exhaustion it brings. im internally working through a lot of emotions and all the time learning more about myself as an individual.

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